25-year-old man considers ending relationship with girlfriend after her 30th birthday plans become all-consuming, drained by her unrealistic expectations of receiving 30 gifts for each year: 'It's all she talks about'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 18, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

We love a woman who knows what she wants and won't settle for anything less. But if her wants are 30 birthday gifts from her partner, as a symbol for every year she has braced the earth…I guess we can somewhat symphathize with her man's doubts about the future of their relationship!

He claims it's not about the money, but about the constant obsession around her 'Dirty-30', year-long birthday celebration, that is making him a bit resentful. After gauging advice from both his parents, this fed-up boyfie realizes that he is always going to be overwhelmed and she is always going to be disappointed…so would breaking up with her just days before the 'life-changing' birthday event be taking a page out of the ultimate bad-guy playbook. 

Well…buddy, our advice is simple, if you're worried about her expectations and gifts for her 30th, just imagine the sound of your wallet weaping when her 50th birthday comes around!

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  • Everyone's love language is different, and compromise is essential to the success of any relationship. However, with that being said, gift giving can often be considered the most controversial expression of them all. If someone is just simply not as materialistic as their partner, or in this case, unrealistic, the chance of disagreements emerging around the times of special occasions just became 100x more likely.

    Just know, dude, we have you in our prayers, and we would like to establish a GoFundMe page for the down payment needed for your girlfriend's birthday!


     

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    Couple looking concerned whilst reading a piece of paper
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    WIBTAH If I Ended a Relationship before her Dirty 30

    I (25M) have been dating this woman for 3 years now. In a few weeks she's going to celebrate her Dirty 30 and has been giving
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    me lists of things she wants. Apparently I'm supposed to get 30 different gifts. Her "surprise" party is already being planned
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    from the very little information I received. The party was her idea from the beginning. I also basically passed down the responsibility to her best friend.
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    A portion of her expectations for her Dirty 30 is why I want to end things. I can't explain why it frustrates me. I just feel tired. It's
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    all she talks about since this month started. I talked to my dad about this situation and his advice was, "keep her happy. It
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    will be easier in the long run". My mom also said it be awful if I ended the relationship before her celebration. She said turning 30 is
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    hard on women. I don't think 3 years together is long enough for me to feel like I am losing anything on this relationship.
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    WIBTAH if I ended our relationship tomorrow or something?
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    A group of friends celebrating a 30th birthday celebration
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    diamondgreene Wait till she turns fifty. That list gonna be LIT.
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  • 12
    LuxeAmourTravel Doesn't seem like you're the most compatible pair. You're more lowkey, she's more extravagant. Nothing is wrong with that but it sounds like if you continue this it'll only be exhausting for you and disappointing for her.
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    datguy2011 I feel like you been unhappy and this is the straw that broke the camels back
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    Particular Title42 YWNBTA. Your parents are giving terrible advice. While it would put a damper on her celebration to have a break up right before it, it would probably be better to do so before the party than to struggle through the party and maybe "ruin" it a different way.
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    As far as the 3 years go...there's a saying that goes something like, "Don't hold on to a mistake just because you've been making it for a long time." Three years is nothing.
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    Monk6980 I'm from an older generation. From my perspective, as her BF of three years, it would be sweet if you gave her 30 little tokens of affection throughout the day: little notes, tiny gifts, her favorite snacks, etc. Leading up to a big gift in the evening.
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    Her giving you lists of things she wants like a kid's list to Santa honestly makes me cringe. I can't help but think the situation will get worse as time goes on. And her party was HER idea? God help me. No, you're NTA. Your girlfriend's sense of entitlement is out of control.
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    Woman writing her 'wish list' on the computer, in her cozy room
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 19
    EffRedditAl "I don't think 3 years together is long enough for me to feel like I am losing anything on this relationship." Buddy, if you aren't thinking long-term future with someone after THREE YEARS? Then you should move on...for their sake.
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    4-ton-mantis Just found out i turned 30 incorrectly. When i turned 30 i was like all right, in just half a year I'll have the phd done and be done with school! Finally. And yeah i did that
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    But right after ended up working at yet another university as faculty. I wasn't done with school at all! I think 30 did me dirty
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    Raxus333 Just buy her 30 paperclips. Gift wrap each one.
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    MacaroonSea3646 You wrote it's not about the gifts but you don't like being handed a list cos it reminds you of her being your boss? Then what would you have done if she didn't give you a list? Considering you're not even planning. the party and you have left it all to her best friend.
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    Usual Strawberry_451 You'll be the a le in her story no matter when you end it. She's probably picking up on your reluctance as well. Better to get it over with now.
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    Terrific Vixen5693 Calling it something cringe like Dirty 30 would be enough for me to call things.
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    mcfilms I'd say you owe it to express to her that although you understand this bday is important to her, you don't want the list, the materialism, and the expectations. Just. Tell. Her. Based on how she reacts, you'll know how to handle things and can break up a couple days later.
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    Red VelvetCupcake1122 Sorry, I'm still stuck on the whole "Turning 30 is hard on women" part. I mean st, turning 30 was top tier for me- beginning to peak in attractivess, career taking off, and was adult enough/wise enough to not care about petty BS
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Tags

boyfriend 30-presents presents birthday year were-in-love relationship-drama gift girlfriend advice Party couples 3-years materialistic entitled breakup 30 wish list parents
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